nut hugger
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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