thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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