O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's never too late to be topless.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Im part way to drunk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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