Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.