Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
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she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy