i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present