I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dating After Heartbreak
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up