Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!