just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?