He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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