She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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