i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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