I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
