My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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