The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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