I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
