That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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