my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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