where does the pee come out of this thing
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
