called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
