I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
