Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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