do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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