The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize