If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
