ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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