dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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