I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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