I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why can't burritos get me drunk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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