so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
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he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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