your parents love me but you hate me
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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