Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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