At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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