That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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