Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
