you suck at this game today
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want to make out with him forever
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?