Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
