Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
