So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
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I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.