my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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