i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize