it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize