Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
