Porn is love you can see.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
