so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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