i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
