i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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