Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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