yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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