If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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