guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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