you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
