you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
