I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
