Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
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We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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