i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
