I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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