I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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