I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
