Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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