But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
