i just google imaged poop.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am midnight drunk by noon
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
