I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When are your genitals available?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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