Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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