Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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