I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
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I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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