I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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