he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's blow job season.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize